Took a few extra days (false start) after my trip. There was a lot going on, and some things I’ve been thinking about.
For instance, why posting every day is a silly strategy. Now I’m not necessarily using this blog to drive traffic or strum up business, but the thought did occur to me – what am I writing for?
The answer I came up with is I write because I have to. So if no one reads it, or doesn’t follow the latest post, it’s not really a big deal. When I started writing, it was about being accountable. Going to the daily (until the Alaska trip) postings, that was about accountability and productivity.
Getting back into the swing of being productive hasn’t been easy. I realize that everything I say in defense of not writing daily becomes just an excuse. That I could find time to sit and post. I could make time.
The truth is, though, sometimes you need to step back. It’s impossible to just keep moving along, everyday. In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz writes, “Always do your best… Your best is going to change from moment to moment, it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self judgment, self- abuse, and regret.”
So I can start each morning stating I will do my best.
I can end each night asking Have I done my best?
And that’s all anyone can ever really do.
I am behind. I know, it happens. But it seems that this week, and last, has kept me more busy than I’ve been in several months.
Trying to create time to write, to read, to produce other work, and to sell, has been a juggling act like little I’ve had to do before. So how do I do it?
Writing I am just eking out, one post at a time. Reading, less so. A stack of books is piled by my bed, and other stacks on and around the bookshelf. Other work? Well, that’s another story.
I guess the silver lining is I’m selling well, and should be making enough pay to finance my trip to Alaska next week. Hard to believe it’s less than seven days away. I’m looking forward to writing from there.
While updating some posts on my phone, I thumbpressed trash rather than update on a post. So everything I’d scribed was now lost. No big deal, as it’s only one post a was just a few paragraphs. But it is an annoyance.
One downside to the digital world is the likelihood of deletion of content. When you consider how hard it is to delete handwriting from notebooks, it certainly gives that column a plus. However, it’s much more difficult to disseminate notebooks than it is a blog.
In a phone conversation recently, I was tentatively offered a POC position. I suppose it was more feeling out my interest level, but it holds potential. I’ve only been relying on a limited amount of my creative fields-experience, and other than the occasional theatrical gig I’m not doing much with either my resume or my degree. While sales can be challenging and educational, it sometimes feels less-than-rewarding.
So now I look towards the future – the mountain I’ve neglected in recent years. What my friend a few weeks ago called my three-year wake-up call. Perhaps that’s exactly what it was. And now that I’m producing – this blog, the nascent video-game media company, and a couple of other projects, for example – it’s important to remember that like begets like.
I’ve been thinking lately about the types of posts I make here. Some are little thoughts I have about this and that (theatre and performance, or books I’m reading/have read); advice I’ve been given or came across; bits of motivation; very personal thoughts on loss and struggling; finance and investing; or even poetry. All these things are a hodgepodge of who I am and what I’m thinking right now.
Some of it may be interesting to someone. Many more may not find anything here. Others may not want to read each and every post I make, because who knows what I’ll be writing about on any given day.
I struggle with that – providing content (even content that no one may see) which goes back and forth from business to personal, and relevant to downright absurd. But, it’s who I am.
I started writing this blog because I’d kept a journal since 2015. Some times I’ve written daily. Right now I’m best at weekly in the journal, with other writing thrown in during the week. But it was entirely private, and no one was going to come across it. I may even pull a Dickens and have them all burnt before I go. Who knows…
So I put it up online, just another WordPress blog. And I’ve grown it a bit. I’ve grown a bit myself. Now it’s out there for anyone to see. Maybe no one will. But it’s out there.
The oddest little thing has come to my attention. When I was writing one or two blog posts a week, I always seemed to find excuses for not doing them. I was always too busy.
Now, with a daily post, I don’t seem to run out of things to say. I can knock out three or four every time I sit in front of the computer. Most are short. Some are longer, and may take me three-ten tries to tie them up. But I am able still to move through my thoughts in an easier, more-streamlined way.
It’s either the commitment (though I had committed to twice a week before, which I let slip), or it’s the routine, or it’s writing so often that I don’t worry about the quality of work as much. As long as it’s grammatically correct and (mostly) spellchecked, then I’m pretty happy with the result. Even if it’s a lot of nonsense, tomorrow is another day.
That’s it! One month of daily postings. I wasn’t sure that I would have the tenacity to maintain a writing schedule. But, knowing that I had to do one every day made it a little bit easier to write, just about every day.
A friend of mine is a writer, of fiction, screenplays, etc. He says that sometimes his wife will have dinner ready, and he’ll tell her just a minute so that he can finish his thought. But that becomes a paragraph, then a page, and by the time he joins her dinner has gotten cold.
She says she doesn’t mind, because that’s his dream and his work. She can wait for him to eat, and it doesn’t bother her that the food is a little cold. (She won’t eat till he joins her, which I think is incredibly sweet.)
But he says he has to write when he can, because sometimes other work gets in the way. But he commits to writing at least a little every day. Good, bad, doesn’t matter. As long as words get to the page.
Well, on to May!