At least, according to Mark Twain. Interestingly enough, the blush likely developed over many centuries; an evolutionary feature with the purpose of easing us out of uncomfortable situations. A visual representation of fight or flight.
Most of the time we turn away from those uncomfortable moments. But it is when we lean in, as Pema Chödrön says, that the truly miraculous can happen.
I often talk about my path – my way – which started towards the end of 2015. But it didn’t start there. That was a defining moment, but there were others before.
The story I like to tell, though, is sitting down for coffee with an insurance guy. A former insurance guy. He had just quit his job so that he could work for an art gallery. He had contacted my boss and had a lunch meeting with him. He also scheduled time to speak with me.
I asked him what had brought about the change. He said he started reading The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron. I hadn’t heard of it. Over coffee I decided to buy a copy. I bought it used on eBay… I was saving up for a wedding. Another story.
And then I began…
“For most of us, the idea that the creator encourages creativity is a radical thought.”
I started writing then. Every morning. Four months is all it took for the unraveling to start. I was stripping my life down to its core. Many things were wrong. Off. It was traumatic, and it was cathartic. And it was what I need, whether or not I wanted to admit it.
Things happen that are inexplicable. That don’t seem to make sense. A book enters your life and does magical things. Like it was supposed to…
Be open to those possibilities. Be open to everyday magic, regardless of how wu-wu that sounds.
It’s easy to be distracted. To fall off the bandwagon. Because pursuit is hard work.
It’s hard to maintain laser focus. To devote precious time to a specific activity.
We can’t be sure it’ll pan out. Sometimes we jump ship before reaching the goal, just because it’s difficult.
But imagine what finishing would look like. That’s what successful people do. They see it through to fruition.
Yes, sometimes they too will fail. Hard. Public, epic fails that make everyone cringe.
But not completing the pursuit is the only sure way to not succeed. Yes, you may not fail. You just won’t be…
In fact, the true successes are those who have doggedly pursued their interest in spite of failure.
I was talking with a friend of mine today about this and that. Decluttering, relocating, loss and grief, acceptance, work, etc. We try and talk frequently, though sometimes it is longer between chats.
Something he said regarding making big decisions stuck with me. In times of distress, try not to make any big changes.
For many of us, though, we stay in states of emotional distress. From work, relationships, financial hardship – it can be a challenge to approach things calmly.
So what will help? Those things I’ve found that work for me – Recovery days, Letting Go, No preference – I’ve actually been working towards making the big decisions, and letting the rest fall to the background.
And that is an exciting place to be.
Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual. It’s as if life was a thousand-piece puzzle all over the floor, along with the pieces from everyone else’s thousand-piece puzzle. And to top it off, the pieces are face down.
We can’t ever really be sure what we’ll be, how we’ll do. But we try things. We make mistakes.
Sure it’s okay to cook from a recipe book, but isn’t it more rewarding to experiment?
The wasting of potential through unthoughtful and unaccounted for hours in the day. Nearly anything can be a time suck if allowed to be. Some things I’ve noticed – video games, email, social media, Netflix. While none are inherently time-suckers, using them in an unmindful way will suddenly resulted in wasted hours.
When used to distract from something else, they merely sap your attention. These diversions can take many forms, but they all will waste the most precious commodity that we only have so much of – time.
Mindfully approaching your day-to-day experiences will eliminate the need for diversion, and give you control over more of your time.
As I progress in my blogging, I start to think I’ve used titles before. Like Letting Go. I search. I don’t find it. Maybe the search bar doesn’t work like I mean it to. Or I actually haven’t titled one Letting Go. I don’t know for sure.
Either way, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Letting go. Of the past. Of stuff. Of the personal baggage that I hang on to. It’s little things.
This item went to the trash tonight:
I had purchased it from a street vendor in Jamaica – exactly which area I don’t recall. I was in Jamaica for a mission trip with my significant other. She and I are no longer together. I also have no relationship to speak of with any of the church members that went on the trip.
I think I paid $10. I could have gotten it for cheaper. But the words of a very persuasive priest came back to me.
“While talking with a parishioner,” he said in his homily, “she was bragging about how she had talked the seller down on some item she purchased on vacation.” [I believe it was in Mexico, but it could have been anywhere].
He proceeded to ask her, “Are you saying that you’re proud of taking away the money the this person needs to care for the family, put food on the table, and keep a roof over their heads?” This particular priest is an odd, joy-filled individual.
He then said, “I guess I shouldn’t go on vacation there. I’d be haggling the price up.”
So in looking at this strange coconut bird feeder, an authentic carved item from Jamaica, I couldn’t bring myself to haggle the price down.
But it no longer serves me. I took this picture of it to have the memory, but item itself has been let go.
A song I’ve heard a thousand times if I’ve heard it once, Drive by Incubus played on the radio the other day. And for whatever reason, I really listened to it. Not, I could sing along with it easily enough, but I guess I hadn’t paid attention to the lyrics.
“Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can’t help but ask myself how much I’ll let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It’s driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I am beginning to find
That I should be the one behind the wheel
Whatever tomorrow brings
I’ll be there with open arms and open eyes
Whatever tomorrow brings
I’ll be there, I’ll be there”
It’s a question of how to live your life. Do you drive forward, making the decisions? Or do you just go with the crowd?
Better to stand out…
Usually I would say that roots firm us up. Give us structure. Provide support. In that, roots are good and useful.
Sometimes, though, they can keep is from reaching out beyond ourselves. Sometimes roots prevent us from pursuing the impossible, which, if pursued, we may discover isn’t as impossible as it seems.
At those times, roots hinder our development.
You can never know which time is which. And you never want to sever roots. But sometimes it’s a good idea to dig them up a bit, and see how far you can move.
It isn’t easy to start over. We build a lot of momentum heading towards – something. When it abruptly ends, we’re left without much of a direction. It can be a job, a relationship, a university major, or something else entirely.
So how do you regain perspective?
First, take stock of what you do have. Skills, a safety net, family and friends.
Next, figure out where you’d like to go, what you’d like to learn – any new experiences you’d like to try.
Then, take the first step in that direction.
It sounds simple, and I understand that it’s not. But great distances are crossed one step at a time.
Michael's Musings 