Blog

The Amy apologist

by MAÔ, posted in Ego, Theatre

Last year I was in a production of Little Women, the musical with book by Allan Knee, lyrics by Mindi Dickstein, and music by Jason Howland, adapted from the novel by Louisa May Alcott. Admittedly, Alcott is an author I’ve never read (with Senior year English Lit possibly being an exception – I don’t recall), though her contemporaries and acquaintances I’m quite fond of – Emerson, Thoreau, and Longfellow. In the show I was Professor Bhaer.

There is a scene in the show where, after feeling left out by her sisters, Amy burns a story that Jo has been working on. Most people feel revulsion at the act, and Amy’s excuse that Jo has everything and she has nothing comes across as spoiled and bratty.

From my view, though, Amy is nearly a middle child, and shows very little talent of her own. The youngest (who later dies from illness) is loved by all and a budding pianist. Jo writes, and Meg is a proclaimed beauty. Amy therefor feels out-of-place in her own family and thus acts out. It isn’t right for her to do so, but it can be understood.

So, I was labelled an Amy apologist and have been trying to defend my stance for nearly a year. Then I saw a production of Little Women: The Musical just last month, and I thought Amy was a complete brat.

Start with Empathy

by MAÔ, posted in Advice

All human interaction comes down to two fundamental principles: listening and responding. Listening in this case can mean the receiving and interpretation of any stimuli coming from the other person and the environment around you. Responding is any method of reaction (or non-reaction) you have to that situation.

When we argue, we are missing a key component of one (or both) of the two fundamental principles – we are lacking empathy.

  • The empathetic listener understands that we all want to be heard, and believe our opinions to be correct, even if they are merely opinions.
  • The empathetic responder, who will know that sometimes what we say and how we act can be misinterpreted, will carefully select the method in which a response is given.

It isn’t that empathy means neglecting your own viewpoint – it’s only accepting that someone else may have a different one and acknowledging its value.

Hide your stash

by MAÔ, posted in Money

Focusing on personal money is a stressful prospect. Seeing the rises and falls, the balance changing, seemingly out of your control, can imbue a feeling of powerlessness. That’s why the best investors and gamblers view their pools of available money as resource, not expendable cash.

The adage among drug dealers is to never use your own stash. The same can be said for the money that you pay yourself first – savings, retirement, major expense fund… Be careful that you’re not using the resource that you set aside for your self – for your future.

That’s your stash. Don’t use it.

Becoming Gamer

by MAÔ, posted in Growing up

Playing games has been favorite pastime for young people since the advent of the Nintendo Entertainment System. My first game was Super Mario Bros., and I would play it with my Dad on the weekends. I’d also watch my brother play Final Fantasy II (the Japanese IV) on the Super NES well into the night (rather than sleeping before school).

I’ll go through phases now, and play a game for a while before not picking up a controller for months. However, my friend Greg and I have partnered on a video game streaming endeavor, and now I’ll be expected to play weekly. Two Dudes, One Console. It’s also a chance to work on video and audio editing, which I’ve been neglecting for too long.

It’ll be important to maintain proper time management in the nascent stages of this endeavor, especially to keep up with all other projects. So this afternoon, recording session two!

Finding time to be creative

by MAÔ, posted in Art

You want to do this, be it paint that canvas, write that book, make that movie, or learn that instrument. You want to do that so you can feel the accomplishment you’ve known you longed to feel from the time you first had that thought, probably so long ago.

What no one told you is that it’s very rare indeed to find time to make the art that we long to make. Time isn’t a commodity we just have in abundance. Time is finite, and we have more and more ways to fill it. Five centuries ago it was work, sleep, and family. One century ago it was work, sleep, and family. Even fifty years ago, it could have been work, sleep, and family. Now, the possibilities are endless.

So, no. Don’t find time to be creative. Make time. Schedule it in, and guard it as you would anything else important. It’s the only way to get it done.

Consider the email

by MAÔ, posted in Work

Emails are no longer tools of communication. What began as a seemingly efficient way to relay information has become a crutch and a weight, both relied upon and holding us back at the same time. What could be said of medications, alcohol, or other substances that provide temporary relief but not a permanent fix, so do does email simply enable our addictions to instant gratification and-over abundant information stimuli.

One suggestion for taming the email beast is from Joshua Harris, as reported by Money:

Unsubscribe, then just check email once a day.

The first step to managing your inbox is to get rid of any emails you don’t need. Unroll.Me shows you everything you are subscribed to and lets you unsubscribe to anything you don’t want with one click. Then use a batched approach to archive, delete, or respond.

I check email once a day. I do it after lunch so I can complete critical tasks in the morning. Then I turn off auto-fetch on my apps so I don’t get notified when new emails come in. If you have an iPhone, you can request notifications just for important emails so you’re alerted of anything high priority.

Work emergencies or time-sensitive items should be communicated to you through Slack or similar communication software. That will reduce your anxiety and prevent you from checking email compulsively like I used to. —Joshua Harris, founder of Agency Growth Secrets; teaches entrepreneurs how to start, grow, and scale marketing agencies that help businesses grow

The first time I got paid for it…

by MAÔ, posted in Theatre

There’s a fun book titled The First Time I Got Paid for It, which chronicles the stories of writers in Hollywood selling their first scripts. As I deposited my understudy check this week, amazed that someone actually gives me money for pretending to be someone else, I thought about the first time I got paid for this.

My first check tied to real theatrical work was a $100 split off from a check from the director of a show that I assistant-directed. I wasn’t experienced at all, and she walked me through the process pretty much all the way. It was the first time that I learned anger was a boring emotion for the stage.

Since then I’ve been a part of a number of professional productions, and even worked in film and television some – to varying degrees of success. Some of my footage will never be seen, and that’s probably a good thing.

But, to quote Jonathan Larson, “What a way to spend a day.”

Other thoughts about Instagram

by MAÔ, posted in Writing

There’s a certain joy of democratization of photography that Instagram offers. The only problem is Instagram as a platform has been used to further the vanity of our need-obsessed culture, rather than to express the joy of image – a joy which feels to me that perhaps the programmers had originally intended.

Rather than have an annual edition of Time or NatGeo showcasing the year’s best photographs, here’s a platform with real updates of the greatest photos at this time. Only, we fall short because we find the lowest common denominators. Of course it isn’t that the content is limited on Instagram, but it’s designed in such a way to engage our time – and that’s time that could be spent elsewhere.

What if we were right?

by MAÔ, posted in Advice

We often second guess ourselves. The question more often than not is what if I was wrong? Then we replay the scenario, the events leading up to the decision, and the consequences. 

Leaving that job, buying this house, ending the partnership. All of the thinking that drags us down emotionally, and wastes precious decision-making capital on past choices. 

Instead, why not flip the narrative. Ask yourself “What if I was right?” Then all the supporting dialogue can be replaced with forward thinking. Suddenly, it matters more what you do next, rather than what led you to making the decision in the first place.