Michael's Musings

Friday lists

September 13, 2019September 12, 2019 by MAÔ, posted in Social

What I’m reading: Letting Go. David Hawkins writes about freedom from attachment, and what that might look like in the modern age. “The mind, with its thoughts, is driven by feelings. Each feeling is the cumulative derivative of many thousands of thoughts. Because most people throughout their lives repress, suppress, and try to escape from their feelings, the suppressed energy accumulates and seeks expression through psychosomatic distress, bodily disorders, emotional illnesses, and disordered behavior in interpersonal relationships.”

What I’m watching: A lot of nothing. I’ve flitted from Lost Girl to a few other supernatural tv shows. A bit of NHK network, the Japanese news channel with travel and language programming. I’m gearing up for the Halloween season, and I want to do some research on horror and mythos.

What I’m listening to: Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury, narrated by Christian Rummel. I’d not read much by Bradbury. Fahrenheit 451 is really the only one I remember. I know I owned two short story collections, but I don’t recall what I had read from it. But I had a dream a few nights back – partially induced by sleep aids and Benadryl. It involved a traveling circus, and I was reminded of Something Wicked, so I figured I’d give it a go.

Other things that caught my eye:

“The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences.” I read this in The Eye Never Sleeps, and it’s been raining in my head. In 2016 I gave up believing in a lot of definites. I started looking at the sometimes and maybes. Have no preferences. I guess that’s kind of been my mantra.
A video of extreme conditions on the Pacific Northwest Trail.
And from Tim Ferris: Johns Hopkins Medicine launches the world’s largest, and U.S.’s first, center for psychedelic research.

Combating moments of inertia

September 12, 2019September 11, 2019 by MAÔ, posted in Advice

When I’m under the weather I tend to retreat into myself. I like solitude and privacy for my recovery. Currently I am under the weather which is why this is coming up.

There are moments when we are addled with inertia. When we cannot seem to find the drive to do anything remotely productive.

First, it’s okay. We can easily become overwhelmed. Don’t beat yourself up.

Then realize that it’s just a matter falling back on routines. The routine you’ve established will be what gets you through. If you developed a routine of writing every day, even in an inert moment you’ll make time to write.

It’s then most important to develop routines when you’re feeling capable, so that in times of doubt you’ll have an easier time maintaining those routines.

What I’ve Read

September 11, 2019December 8, 2021 by MAÔ, posted in Reading

Time frame…?

Books Bought:

Plato: Complete Works – Edited by John M. Cooper
NORTH: Finding Place in Alaska – Julie Decker, editor
Raven Steals the Light – Bill Reid & Robert Bringhurst
Travels in Alaska – John Muir
Nature Writing – John Muir (Library of America edition)
100 Tough Questions for Japan – Itasaka Gen

Books Read:

Tools of Titans – Tim Ferriss (unfinished)
Wilderness Essays – John Muir (unfinished)
How to Watch a Movie – David Thomson (unfinished)
On National Parks – John Muir (unfinished)
Lycanthia; or The Children of Wolves – Tanith Lee (unfinished)
The Brief, Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao – Junot Diaz
The Eye Never Sleeps: Striking to the Heart of Zen – Dennis Genpo Merzel
Emerson: Essays and Lectures – Ralph Waldo Emerson (unfinished)
The Name of the Rose – Umberto Eco

Well, who knows. It seems like April was the last time I wrote about my book purchases and reading. So… Here’s a list. It is probably incomplete. I look at a lot of books.

During the months of May-July, my work was highly demanding. But not the real work. Just the work for a paycheck. And the pay wasn’t even that good. Sometimes it’s about trying things – picking them up, seeing if you like them. If not, you put it down and walk away.

Highlights – Alaska was the big one. I purchased two books in Alaska: Raven and NORTH. The latter was published by collaboration with the Anchorage Museum and University of Washington Press. It includes works of art in the museum collection and essays about the Last Frontier.

To say that I was moved by Alaska would be an understatement. It was magnificent, and I think living there for a time may be in my near future.

I like to pick up books when I travel. They’re not the lightest souvenir, but I’ve always had a connection with books. In Ireland, I purchased a used copy of On the Road. In Germany, a Lutheran hymnal. While in Prague, I got a handmade notebook.

Raven Steals the Light is a collection of Native myths from the Haida people. The Raven is a trickster, and a spirit, and a god. “The Raven, who of course existed at that time, because he had always existed and always would…” It recounts many native tales of the beginnings of things, and reasons for things.

I had a lot of false starts with books. Oscar Wao, for one. I tried, but couldn’t quite bring myself to read it. Same with Emerson. Same with Lycanthia. With Muir and Thomson. I just could not bring myself to read much.

Partly I think it’s owed to my having a lot on my mind. Hence I’ve been reworking my routines. I have now been reading each night before bed, settling into Name of the Rose for about 30-45 minutes a night. Sometimes less, if I’m really tired. Umberto Eco is interesting. I remember trying to read this book shortly after graduating high school, while sitting in a wing backed cushioned chair at Barnes & Noble. I didn’t get all that far into it.

It throws you Latin, and Italian, and maybe a splattering of French. Monastic terms I’m only vaguely familiar with, and some that I’ve never heard. Under all of that though, there is mystery and intrigue. A young monk has died mysteriously. If suicide, how did the window close behind him? If murder, is the assailant man (and thereby monk?), or something infernal? The Sherlockian monk William of Baskerville will use all his reasoning to get to the bottom of it.

It led me to discover the Italian mini-series, so I’m trying to find somewhere to watch that – with subtitles, preferably.

I added the two Muir books to my collection – I had been reading some essays by him before going to Alaska. I hope to finish at least one collection of his this year. Also the writings of Plato. I found this book used, and the fact that it was edited by Edith Hamilton caught my attention. I had done some myth research two years, reading over Hamilton as well as Joseph Campbell, and I wanted to see what sort of commentary was included in this book. I haven’t gotten around to opening it though.

I did just pop open Tools of Titans. I had picked it up on sale in December, and was just reading about Ferriss’s compulsion to record data.

I’m a compulsive note-taker. To wit, I have recorded nearly every workout since age 18 or so. Roughly 8 feet of shelf space in my home is occupied by spine upon spine of notebook upon notebook. That, mind you, is one subject. It extend to dozens. Some people would call this OCD, and many would consider it a manic wild goose chase. I view it simply: It is the collection of my life’s recipes.

I too take many notes, and have amassed a pile of notebooks. Not like Ferriss – not to that extent – but I’ve been jotting things down since I was in high school, and I’ve got notebooks with varying degrees of use on my shelves, in the garage, and in storage. If I had my way, this is what my house would look like:

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Maybe my next house…

September 9, 2019September 6, 2019 by MAÔ, posted in Organization, Writing

It seems that we’re constantly in search for more. More money, more time, more freedom, more happiness.

I’m actually looking for my space on my computer, prompting this post.

And I started thinking about all that I already have. And it’s a lot. I think we accumulate a lot of stuff. Would I like more time? Sure, but I could be using the time I have a little better.

More money. Absolutely! But I don’t need to be spending the money I do have on things that aren’t enriching my life.

We often focus so much on the more, we neglect the why. And if you’re not appreciating what you currently have, then do you really need more of it?

Starting over

September 8, 2019September 6, 2019 by MAÔ, posted in Pathfinding

It isn’t easy to start over. We build a lot of momentum heading towards – something. When it abruptly ends, we’re left without much of a direction. It can be a job, a relationship, a university major, or something else entirely.

So how do you regain perspective?

First, take stock of what you do have. Skills, a safety net, family and friends.
Next, figure out where you’d like to go, what you’d like to learn – any new experiences you’d like to try.
Then, take the first step in that direction.

It sounds simple, and I understand that it’s not. But great distances are crossed one step at a time.

On the road

September 7, 2019September 4, 2019 by MAÔ, posted in Pathfinding

“…and I shambled after as I’ve been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a common place thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes, “Awww!”

Jack Kerouac

About seven years ago I wrote this quote in one of my journals. I was reading On the Road, and it stood out – both for the way it was written, and what was behind the words.

I’ve often found myself in the company of madness. The amazing personalities that can eclipse any other in a room. From time to time, I’ve had my own followers as well, for I have had my own share of burning.

There’s a time to rest, and a time to rocket skyward. Which time are you in now?

Another Friday

September 6, 2019September 6, 2019 by MAÔ, posted in Social

Well, it’s been a while since I listed things I was looking at or getting into. So, here it goes:

Book I’ve been reading: The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco. I’d seen the Sean Connery film years ago, then devoted some time to its early chapters sitting in a Barnes & Noble circa 2003-2004. I didn’t buy the book, and at the time didn’t seem to fully grasp it. Now I’m giving it another chance.

What I’ve been listening to: Evita, the revival featuring Elena Roger and Ricky Martin. I’m a swing for a production of Evita right now (opening night is tonight) and I’ve been brushing up on my Argentinian.

What I’ve been watching: Lost Girl. It’s on Netflix, and had been sitting in the queue for some time (years? Hard to tell.). I do remember seeing ads for it on SyFy at some point. It’s good. A little formulaic, but I had actually been looking at differences in seelie/unseelie over the past two weeks, so starting this kind of came at a perfect time. (It’s a show about a bisexual succubus learning that there are courts of Fae in the world, and she must navigate the unique environments of faerie life.) Stars Anna Silk as Bo and Ksenia Solo as Kenzi (who was also on Turn: Washington’s Spies).

Other things of note:
Dorian almost came across Florida. Everyone knows that, but here’s a little bit of why forecasting hurricanes is hard.
Seth Godin writes an interesting post about what we own.
How to cook in a Donabe – the Japanese ceramic wonder pot.

The wanderlust

September 5, 2019September 2, 2019 by MAÔ, posted in Thoreau

It seems that many today are driven to explore. I know that many in the past have shared that desire. Is it our separation from nature that breeds wanderlust?

The further we get from our connection to the land, it seems the more we lose.

“We should read history as little critically as we consider the landscape, and be more interested by the atmospheric tints, and various lights and shades which the intervening spaces create, then by its groundwork and composition.”

-Henry David Thoreau

Sitting. Still.

September 4, 2019September 1, 2019 by MAÔ, posted in Meditation

I’ve been practicing my meditation more these past two weeks. My time has been less pressing, at least until I start my next job. I’ve carved out a little corner with a Buddha, a hamsa, and a zafu cushion.

Some of the guided meditations I’ve used come from the app Insight Timer. I’ve also purchased meditations from the CDM Spiritual Center. The latter was recommended to me from a spiritual healer I had been introduced to back in 2016.

In my meditation, and in my journaling, I’ve been exploring the fact that many of us suffer duality in our lives. The masks we wear for outer acceptance, and the true self that lies somewhere deeper.

The Zen poem Hsin Hsin Ming states:
Faith mind are not two
Nondual faith mind

I suppose I take it to mean that both mind and reality can easily be split in two (or more) parts, if we allow it to. But everything is one whole, and in accepting that oneness, we release that perception of future desires, or past regrets, and live entirely in the moment.

It’s the doing of that which is a bit difficult…