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An assessment

by MAÔ, posted in Pathfinding

Now in the new year, it’s important to take an accurate look at your situation. Review things like your finances (also a good time since tax season is right around the corner), your schedule, work/life balance, etc. An honest evaluation will give you the opportunity to make changes getting you closer to your goals.

I had hoped that 2019 would have me moving forward in Success and Harmony. But I hadn’t painted a clear enough picture for myself at the beginning of the year. So this year I wanted to ensure that I had the foundation laid for progress.

What this looks like:

  • Financial Breakdown: I’ve used Mint to gather all of my financial information into one place. This includes bank accounts, credit cards, loans, and investments. I’m sure that there are other options, but I’ve had Mint for a while now, though in the last half of 2019 I let some of the information slide.
  • Work/Life Balance: This has been a bit tricky, as I’ve been working a lot during the past month. After three months with very few jobs, suddenly I was seeing a full calendar. Now, in January, I must admit that I’m pretty tired trying to keep up with the gigs and the holiday expectations. I wrote about hustling as an actor, and I feel like that’s what I’ve been doing over the past month. Hustling. I’m prepared to pull back, and starting in March I should have just one contract to focus on for the summer. That will free up the rest of my time for living.
  • Relationships: This could be lumped into Work/Life, but there are some relationships that should be cultivated that I’m not currently nurturing, and some relationships that should be looked at to see if they are still providing a healthy framework. All in all, I don’t spend too much time with toxic friendships. However, at this point I do want to review every one of my relationships to make sure that I’m being present and attentive (not toxic myself), and that they are doing the same.
  • Health: Another of my problematic areas. Having been diagnosed with RA nearly a decade ago now, I no longer take medication for it. I’ve found that the key to my health is sleeping adequately, physical activity, and eating properly. I don’t always commit to this lifestyle, but it helps when I do.
  • Goals: Finally, what are my goals? Yes, I have my focus words for 2020. But was are my goals, both short-term and long-term? There are a couple of ways to think about these. I think right now, it’s important to ask, “Are these SMART?” (Specific. Measurable. Achievable. Relevant. Time-based.) If not, then reevaluate.

Weekly Rundown

by MAÔ, posted in Social

What I’m reading: I read very little this week. Best of intentions and all, but time slipped away. I did start perusing An Innocent Abroad, compiled travel wisdom by Don George and published by Lonely Planet. But, not enough to actually call it reading.

What I’m listening to: Die Winterreise by Franz Schubert. I learned of this song cycle five or ten years ago, and I listen to it every winter. It’s 24 pieces, poetry set to music, following a man’s journey into the snow to rid himself of his departed, lost love. Quintessentially German.

What I’m spending time on: The Witcher on Netflix, starring Henry Cavill. I hadn’t followed the phenomenon that is The Witcher, from a fantasy franchise based on the series of books from Polish author Andrzej Sapkowski. But the show has garnered some attention, and I wanted to see what it was all about. A man fighting monsters in a world with wizards, elves, and dragons.

What I’ve shared:

Are you being productive, or are you just keeping busy?

by MAÔ, posted in Work

When I was directing fundraising programs, this question was written on a sticky note and attached above my desk so that I could keep my attention focused. If I felt myself straying, I could look up and ask myself that question. Was I just sending emails, or was I working on something with more purpose?

Since that development contract ended, I’ve seen that sticky note float around every now and then. I hadn’t thought about it much until recently since I’ve been working an extra gig. Now, I find my calendar full most days, and that’s great!

But, am I making time for the deep work? For my creative endeavors? Am I writing for the blog, for instance? Working on some of my other projects, whether in writing, publication, or film/tv/stage? Sadly, the answer more often than not was no…

Now in the new year I have to remember to keep my attention focused. Yes, the jobs I do must be done, and done well. But also, don’t neglect the deep work. The nourishment for the soul. That thing I get to leave behind me.

So again I get to ask myself: “Am I being productive? Or merely keeping busy?”

2020 Goals

by MAÔ, posted in Pathfinding

Bravery and adventure.

These are words I’ve been thinking of recently, and what I want to spend my year working on. So, each day I’ll attempt to do one thing that scares me.

And throughout the year, I’ll look for opportunities for adventure – more trying of new things and explorations.

Traditions

by MAÔ, posted in Holidays

I’ve noticed, this year in particular, how important traditions are. I don’t have many that have remained unchanged over the years. Most revolve around holidays, especially Christmas.

What that does is create shared experiences. Community, when family wouldn’t always be considered friends, and where friends become family. In the absence of community, bonds can fall apart.

That’s why tight-knit families have so many traditions – the traditions are how they became so close.

And it doesn’t take many. Two or three annual occurrences, inclusive and meaningful, are enough to bring a family closer.

The Resolution Trap

by MAÔ, posted in Advice

Here it is, just a couple of days before New Year’s. You’re wondering what will 2020 hold, and what kind of goals you’ll set for yourself.

Everyone knows the beginning of their favorite new year’s sentence: “My new year’s resolution is…”

And of course, the inevitable failure that follows is also all-too-familiar. Roughly nine out of ten don’t make it. But why is it so hard to keep a resolution? To be honest, there are a number of reasons.

First, it’s likely not specific enough. In Business Insider, it’s suggested to make a concrete goal as your resolution. “”It’s easier to drop out or walk away when you set goals or resolutions that are vague. When it’s really detailed and specific, it’s harder to walk away from it.”

Second, you’ll probably come out of the gate at a sprint. But it’s a marathon, and you have all year.

Third, if you’re like me, you want all the changes to occur. When what you should be focusing on is one specific change, which you work on and implement into daily practice. That’s something you can build from. Change begets change.

Fourth, maybe they’re really big goals. So set smaller milestones. Say, cut the goal into quarters, or into twelfths. Then by the end of the first period, you should have that first cut completed. (Lose 25 pounds, for instance. Or roughly seven pounds by the end of March. And anyone can lose seven pounds, can’t they?)

And lastly, there is some psychological rationale behind why it’s so hard. We might make resolutions that are “significantly unrealistic and out of alignment with [our] internal view of [ourselves]”.

This is where I usually advocate mindfulness and honesty. Be prepared for the new year, and ring in 2020. But please go easy on yourself too. Don’t beat yourself up. Know what you want in the coming year, and take steps to achieve it. And even if you fail, you’ll still be closer to your goal than when you started.

Everything in moderation

by MAÔ, posted in Advice

I had a teacher once tell me, “do anything you want, as long as you do it in moderation.”

The reason for this advice was, at the time, I was not known for moderate living. Even now I still have flashes of excess. But I’m more able to control my urges, likely a result of getting older. Impulse control can be a challenge for anyone, and I certainly had troubles in my youth.

But the advice is sound, and still applicable.

Moderate spending is the key to debt reduction and building wealth. Moderate eating is good for weight management, and moderate activity for staying fit and healthy.

As we cross over into the new year, be mindful of moderation in both your lifestyle and in your resolutions. Pushing too hard out of the gate is a sure-fire way to not make it to the finish line.

Weekly Roundup

by MAÔ, posted in Social

Ah, Christmas. A time for relaxation, carols, food, and retail…

What I’m reading: The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. I found the name while reading Horizons, had the book, and had never read it. So I just started reading it.

What I’m listening to: Corner of the Sky from Pippin, New Broadway Cast Recording. The lyrics, “The rivers belong where they can ramble. the eagles belong where they can fly. I’ve got to be where my spirit can run from. Gotta find my corner of the sky.”, have been playing over and over in my head.

What I’m spending time with: Tidying up after Christmas. Seems like a lot was going on this week, run visiting family to prepping for after-holiday festivities. I found a couple neat hacks, including these tips cleaning.

What I’ve shared:

And that’s really it this week.

365 days until Christmas

by MAÔ, posted in Holidays

Yes, that’s right. The leap year – 2020 – adds one day to the wait for Christmastime. But that’s okay. As I wrote yesterday, it’s easy to keep the season alive all year long.

I sincerely hope it was a wonderful holiday for you, dear reader, and for your loved ones.

I’ve taken to thinking of each holiday (and sometimes each day) on a sliding scale from the beginning of my life to the end. A definite middle point (one day) indicates that there is an even number of moments before this point and after it. When I reach that day, I have fewer moments ahead of me then I have behind.

So, at some point, you’ll have fewer Christmases with your family left ahead than the Christmases you’ve been already spent together. And that can be a sobering thought. A meditation on cherishing the present moment; on loving others, and yourself. 

This is the last I’ll say of Christmas, more or less, for this year. The rest of the next seven days will be spent focusing on the year that was, and the coming year.

But my hope is that I’ve not yet reached the middle point of this holiday with my family and loved ones – that I have more Christmases left in front of me with my parents and my friends than we’ve already had together. And I hope that for you as well.

And on this Christmas

by MAÔ, posted in Holidays

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

—Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

At last, the shopping is over. The family is gathered. The presents are unwrapped. The meals are eaten. And, at close of day, we go our separate ways back into the world. Maybe this holiday we spend with someone we only see once per year. Or less.

But as we depart, let us be reminded that Christmas is more than a day, or a celebration, or presents, or feasting. That Christmas is the opening of our hearts to those we know and those we don’t.

When the bells strike midnight tonight, do not let the doors of the heart swing shut for another year. Be open to possibility. To love and family and friendship. Find compassion throughout the year in all you do, and live Christmas not just today, but every day.