Category: Thoughts

Traditions

by MAÔ, posted in Holidays

I’ve noticed, this year in particular, how important traditions are. I don’t have many that have remained unchanged over the years. Most revolve around holidays, especially Christmas.

What that does is create shared experiences. Community, when family wouldn’t always be considered friends, and where friends become family. In the absence of community, bonds can fall apart.

That’s why tight-knit families have so many traditions – the traditions are how they became so close.

And it doesn’t take many. Two or three annual occurrences, inclusive and meaningful, are enough to bring a family closer.

The Resolution Trap

by MAÔ, posted in Advice

Here it is, just a couple of days before New Year’s. You’re wondering what will 2020 hold, and what kind of goals you’ll set for yourself.

Everyone knows the beginning of their favorite new year’s sentence: “My new year’s resolution is…”

And of course, the inevitable failure that follows is also all-too-familiar. Roughly nine out of ten don’t make it. But why is it so hard to keep a resolution? To be honest, there are a number of reasons.

First, it’s likely not specific enough. In Business Insider, it’s suggested to make a concrete goal as your resolution. “”It’s easier to drop out or walk away when you set goals or resolutions that are vague. When it’s really detailed and specific, it’s harder to walk away from it.”

Second, you’ll probably come out of the gate at a sprint. But it’s a marathon, and you have all year.

Third, if you’re like me, you want all the changes to occur. When what you should be focusing on is one specific change, which you work on and implement into daily practice. That’s something you can build from. Change begets change.

Fourth, maybe they’re really big goals. So set smaller milestones. Say, cut the goal into quarters, or into twelfths. Then by the end of the first period, you should have that first cut completed. (Lose 25 pounds, for instance. Or roughly seven pounds by the end of March. And anyone can lose seven pounds, can’t they?)

And lastly, there is some psychological rationale behind why it’s so hard. We might make resolutions that are “significantly unrealistic and out of alignment with [our] internal view of [ourselves]”.

This is where I usually advocate mindfulness and honesty. Be prepared for the new year, and ring in 2020. But please go easy on yourself too. Don’t beat yourself up. Know what you want in the coming year, and take steps to achieve it. And even if you fail, you’ll still be closer to your goal than when you started.

Everything in moderation

by MAÔ, posted in Advice

I had a teacher once tell me, “do anything you want, as long as you do it in moderation.”

The reason for this advice was, at the time, I was not known for moderate living. Even now I still have flashes of excess. But I’m more able to control my urges, likely a result of getting older. Impulse control can be a challenge for anyone, and I certainly had troubles in my youth.

But the advice is sound, and still applicable.

Moderate spending is the key to debt reduction and building wealth. Moderate eating is good for weight management, and moderate activity for staying fit and healthy.

As we cross over into the new year, be mindful of moderation in both your lifestyle and in your resolutions. Pushing too hard out of the gate is a sure-fire way to not make it to the finish line.

Weekly Roundup

by MAÔ, posted in Social

Ah, Christmas. A time for relaxation, carols, food, and retail…

What I’m reading: The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. I found the name while reading Horizons, had the book, and had never read it. So I just started reading it.

What I’m listening to: Corner of the Sky from Pippin, New Broadway Cast Recording. The lyrics, “The rivers belong where they can ramble. the eagles belong where they can fly. I’ve got to be where my spirit can run from. Gotta find my corner of the sky.”, have been playing over and over in my head.

What I’m spending time with: Tidying up after Christmas. Seems like a lot was going on this week, run visiting family to prepping for after-holiday festivities. I found a couple neat hacks, including these tips cleaning.

What I’ve shared:

And that’s really it this week.

365 days until Christmas

by MAÔ, posted in Holidays

Yes, that’s right. The leap year – 2020 – adds one day to the wait for Christmastime. But that’s okay. As I wrote yesterday, it’s easy to keep the season alive all year long.

I sincerely hope it was a wonderful holiday for you, dear reader, and for your loved ones.

I’ve taken to thinking of each holiday (and sometimes each day) on a sliding scale from the beginning of my life to the end. A definite middle point (one day) indicates that there is an even number of moments before this point and after it. When I reach that day, I have fewer moments ahead of me then I have behind.

So, at some point, you’ll have fewer Christmases with your family left ahead than the Christmases you’ve been already spent together. And that can be a sobering thought. A meditation on cherishing the present moment; on loving others, and yourself. 

This is the last I’ll say of Christmas, more or less, for this year. The rest of the next seven days will be spent focusing on the year that was, and the coming year.

But my hope is that I’ve not yet reached the middle point of this holiday with my family and loved ones – that I have more Christmases left in front of me with my parents and my friends than we’ve already had together. And I hope that for you as well.

And on this Christmas

by MAÔ, posted in Holidays

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

—Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

At last, the shopping is over. The family is gathered. The presents are unwrapped. The meals are eaten. And, at close of day, we go our separate ways back into the world. Maybe this holiday we spend with someone we only see once per year. Or less.

But as we depart, let us be reminded that Christmas is more than a day, or a celebration, or presents, or feasting. That Christmas is the opening of our hearts to those we know and those we don’t.

When the bells strike midnight tonight, do not let the doors of the heart swing shut for another year. Be open to possibility. To love and family and friendship. Find compassion throughout the year in all you do, and live Christmas not just today, but every day.

Twas the Night Before Christmas

by MAÔ, posted in Holidays

I’ve been playing fast and loose with my writing the past few weeks. Whereas I’m getting my morning pages done every day, my posts have been hit or miss on content and creativity. With Christmas just a day away, I’m hopeful that my schedule will be more manageable in just a few days.

That being said, thanks for keeping up with the blog.

This day always makes me think of the poem, A Visit from St. Nicholas, as my dad would read it to me every year – for many years. In 2008, I received a DVD copy of his reading it, so that I could have it in perpetuity.

So, as the poem ends, I’ll too end by saying, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”

Is Christmas ruined?

by MAÔ, posted in Holidays

I overheard in a break room that “Working retail has ruined Christmas…” for the woman who said this. And that got me thinking. Is commercialism ruining Christmas?

Radio stations start playing Christmas music in November, or maybe even October. Do they do it to get the spirit going? No, they do it to catch radio listeners, and thus sell more ads.

Television, stores, nonprofits, and other businesses use Christmas to bring in or make more money. But what does that do to Christmas? Many of our cherished Christmas traditions were marketing campaigns during the holidays, including Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (Montgomery Ward Department Store) and Santa’s Red Suit (Designed by Thomas Nast in Harper’s Weekly, but which was popularized by Haddon Sundblom’s Coca-Cola campaign).

Even Dicken’s A Christmas Carol created some traditions we still use today.

To answer the question of a ruining of Christmas, it must be understood what Christmas is. And that answer is so many things to different people.

So celebrate Christmas your way, and find moments to enjoy the season. It comes just once each year…

Managing

by MAÔ, posted in Writing

I’m considering the managers I know, and who’s doing good work and where some may falter. A while back I posted on leadership qualities. This one is standing out to me:

  • They thought and said “we” rather than “I.”

We’re all teams, and we work in teams. No person produces work alone. I wish all managers thought about the we a little bit more.

Weekly Rundown

by MAÔ, posted in Social

The week that was, Dec. 20th. More work; started making end-of-year plans; brainstorming goals for 2020. The next ten days will be pretty crammed full. But I had some good highlights this week.

What I’m reading: Light the Dark: Writers on Creativity, Inspiration, and the Artistic Process edited by Joe Fassler. Oddly enough, I first started reading this a year ago, December 2018. I did not finish it, but something made me pick it up this week. I have the Kindle edition, and with reading on my iPad I sometimes find it less intrusive when I don’t continue reading. The unfinished book stays on my nightstand, screaming at me to pick it up again. The iPad doesn’t say much at all. But led to Jack Gilbert while reading this, so I’m curious to see what other gems may come out of it.

What I’m listening to: Not impeachment proceedings, and only some Christmas music. This week I bounced mostly from podcasts to trying to pick the next audiobook I want to dive into. I’ve got several in the queue, but I haven’t been quite ready to pull the trigger on one. I’m hoping inspiration strikes.

What I’m spending time with: This week it’s a quote – “If the locomotive of the Lord runs us down, we should give thanks that the end had magnitude.” I hadn’t read Jack Gilbert before. I may have read that bit in Light the Dark last year, but I didn’t feel it like I feel it now. Another quote which has some meaning to me comes from another Jack, this one named Kerouac. “I saw that my life was a vast glowing empty page and I could do anything I wanted.”

Other things of interest this week: