Category: Advice

Perfection is a moving target

by MAÔ, posted in Inspiration

It’s always a distant reminder of what we’re not. We can strive to reach it. Yet, when we arrive where we swore it was, it’s suddenly moved farther on. Perfection is not something we can ever attain, because we are our own harshest critics.

There is a benefit to using perfection as a guidepost, because we can make improvements in those areas that we push forward.

It can also be a setback when we’re focused on the perfection, rather than on incremental improvements – always comparing ourselves to what we’ll never be.

As the old maxim says, “It’s the journey that matters, not the destination.”

To the audiences

by MAÔ, posted in Advice

Everything we do has the quality of being received by an audience. Each product we ship, or piece of art we create; the conversations we have, and even those silent moments we experience, where it is ourself that receives the message. In every moment we transmit with an expectation of reception.

It’s unfortunately so simple to send a signal that was not intended, or to mix the message up completely. Most experts suggest that communication is equal parts message and medium, and that effective communication takes into account both, on the part of giver and receiver.

So when the message is the most important thing to get across, take the time to make sure it’s being received correctly. A little forethought can save a great deal of stress later.

Defend your schedule

by MAÔ, posted in Organization

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor with both hands at sections of time.”

— Annie Dillard, The Writing Life

We all have a list of things that we want to accomplish. And probably a bigger list of things that require our attention. And, if we’re honest, an even longer list of items that others need from us.

When we make time, we take time from other items that could be consuming our attention. The economic principle of opportunity costs. What we are giving up.

Remember: The most successful people are generally those who eliminate the unnecessary from their lives.

There are no re-dos in life

by MAÔ, posted in Advice

But there are reinventions.

We can’t go back and change how we reacted to a situation. Or make a different decision when the opportunity arose. Or bobbed when we should have weaved, etc.

So maybe we kick ourselves, reliving that moment over and over again. “If only I’d done it this way,” or “that way.”

Whatever the case may be, we cannot undo it. We don’t get another shot at that moment. It’s gone.

What we do have is the here and now. And at this moment, we can reframe our understanding of the past. Instead of kicking ourselves for missed opportunities, or shoddy decision-making, we can reinvent that moment as a time of learning.

We learned how we don’t want to react. That same situation will likely never come around. Similar situations will. And when they do arise, we’ll have a better idea of how we want to respond. We’ll be able to move forward, rather than dwell in the past.

What you learn in silence

by MAÔ, posted in Inspiration

It’s easy to overlook to negatives of the steady stream of communications and modernity while focusing on the benefits. Instant communications. Live updates. Award shows…

We should keep in mind that the great ideas historically are born of silent moments. This data flow like we experience now has only been increasing in this way for the past few decades. It’s still unclear what our adaptation will look like.

So when inspiration is needed, seek the silence.

Decision capital

by MAÔ, posted in Advice

It takes currency to make decisions. And each day we’re only allotted so much of that currency. It’s important not to waste it on frivolous decisions. Utilize your natural energy moments (for many of us that’s early in the morning) to make those important decisions. Don’t check off a few emails, but rather make the yes-or-no sign-off on the important project.

When that capital is used up, that’s it for the day. The best thing you can do is get some rest and wait until tomorrow.

Reactive response

by MAÔ, posted in Inspiration

When we go through the day, we tend to live in reactive modes. Taking inputs, and responding.

Like I wrote yesterday, carving out time is one way to establish creative time. It’s because time spent outside of incessant noise is time spent with yourself.

Meditation and mindfulness will produce the same result, but only with practice.

The Resolution Trap

by MAÔ, posted in Advice

Here it is, just a couple of days before New Year’s. You’re wondering what will 2020 hold, and what kind of goals you’ll set for yourself.

Everyone knows the beginning of their favorite new year’s sentence: “My new year’s resolution is…”

And of course, the inevitable failure that follows is also all-too-familiar. Roughly nine out of ten don’t make it. But why is it so hard to keep a resolution? To be honest, there are a number of reasons.

First, it’s likely not specific enough. In Business Insider, it’s suggested to make a concrete goal as your resolution. “”It’s easier to drop out or walk away when you set goals or resolutions that are vague. When it’s really detailed and specific, it’s harder to walk away from it.”

Second, you’ll probably come out of the gate at a sprint. But it’s a marathon, and you have all year.

Third, if you’re like me, you want all the changes to occur. When what you should be focusing on is one specific change, which you work on and implement into daily practice. That’s something you can build from. Change begets change.

Fourth, maybe they’re really big goals. So set smaller milestones. Say, cut the goal into quarters, or into twelfths. Then by the end of the first period, you should have that first cut completed. (Lose 25 pounds, for instance. Or roughly seven pounds by the end of March. And anyone can lose seven pounds, can’t they?)

And lastly, there is some psychological rationale behind why it’s so hard. We might make resolutions that are “significantly unrealistic and out of alignment with [our] internal view of [ourselves]”.

This is where I usually advocate mindfulness and honesty. Be prepared for the new year, and ring in 2020. But please go easy on yourself too. Don’t beat yourself up. Know what you want in the coming year, and take steps to achieve it. And even if you fail, you’ll still be closer to your goal than when you started.

Everything in moderation

by MAÔ, posted in Advice

I had a teacher once tell me, “do anything you want, as long as you do it in moderation.”

The reason for this advice was, at the time, I was not known for moderate living. Even now I still have flashes of excess. But I’m more able to control my urges, likely a result of getting older. Impulse control can be a challenge for anyone, and I certainly had troubles in my youth.

But the advice is sound, and still applicable.

Moderate spending is the key to debt reduction and building wealth. Moderate eating is good for weight management, and moderate activity for staying fit and healthy.

As we cross over into the new year, be mindful of moderation in both your lifestyle and in your resolutions. Pushing too hard out of the gate is a sure-fire way to not make it to the finish line.