When I started writing this blog four years ago, it was two parts. One, it was an opportunity to ship regularly. To write, and practice writing, and publish. To accept imperfection. Because, writing itself is a process, and I often let words tumble as they may.
The second, and perhaps the more important aspect, was as a coping mechanism. It gave me a platform to lay out my thoughts on a lot of personal issues. And I didn’t perhaps put as much intimate detail into these posts as I could have. As I’ve written recently, the dichotomy of public/private perception has been a challenge for me to work through. That is, being afraid of opening up.
It isn’t that we don’t do it as a species. Even culturally, some are apt to show their emotional content without any pretext. Americans, I feel, not so much. Me included.
It’s hard to open up – to expose your self and what you believe are your weaknesses. To “showing your throat” to what may be a dangerous opponent. And yet, the more we train ourselves not to, the harder it becomes, even with those we care about deeply.
While we shouldn’t go through life as an emotional whirlwind, it is important to try and be as authentic as possible – which means not closing off the feelings that we’re afraid to let others see.
It’s what I sometimes try and do here. Just to brush against authenticity. It doesn’t happen all the time. Even here, the Resistance feels a need to make its presence known. But it’s not about getting there. It’s all about the steps that are taken between here and there.