Attempting an upgrade

If nothing you’re doing seems to be working in the fight to regain your energy, maybe it’s time to take extreme measures.

I’ve tried several over the years. Once when I was fighting a severe bought of depression, I quit my job, moved out of my house, and was planning a move far away. I wasn’t sure where, but anywhere would have sufficed. For a month or two, I stayed with a friend on an air mattress. He didn’t mind, though his wife might have. Anyway, good friends will stick with you when shit hits the fan.

Deciding to take this trip to Alaska would be another opportunity to upgrade, even if only for the summer. But I foresee the time away allowing me to dissect my life in a way that I haven’t been able to do in Florida. Honest observations on what’s working and what’s not.

So it seems that upgrades are decisions that can either succeed or fail, whereby you remove yourself from one or more aspects of your life that are constantly draining energy. It’s why people seek better jobs, better housing, better communities. The hunt for better is about trying to upgrade ourselves.

But we must make sure that we’re doing it conscientiously, and not just throwing money at a problem or, worse, going into debt to be seen as “keeping up with the Joneses”.

Ending 2018

To close out 2015, I had been listening to Inside Acting, a podcast out of LA. Their end-of-year episode did a year-in-review, and they gave focus words for 2016. I decided that I would do that as well.

For 2016 my focus words were distance and serenity.

Honestly I was met with mixed success. In Feb. 2016 my engagement ended. I did put distance between me and “here”, and spent a month wandering around the UK and Ireland. I returned, and spiraled into what I wrote about, my Dark Night of the Soul. I don’t know that I’ve fully comprehended the enormity of that period in my life. I feel that maybe serenity would/could have arisen out of it.

However, I left my job, moved, and started carving out new places in for me to live my life.

For 2017, I did not wish for any words to transform my life. Nor for 2018.

Now, though, I realize that it’s time to change how I’m doing things. How I’m living life. When I put distance and serenity out into the Universe, the Universe answered. Frighteningly so.

So, mere days away from my 35th birthday, and preparing to ring in 2019, I’m prepared to ask of the Universe another change of pace.

My two words, which will be my focus and energy for 2019, are:

  1. Success
  2. Harmony

Asking for these things, I put no expectation of result. I certainly wouldn’t have anticipated the ways in which my words for 2016 were received or acknowledged. However this coming year plays out, I trust in the results and will remain focused on living my life in the now.